From The Archives: An Adult Number

Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone, it means a lot.

I’ve got mixed emotions about turning 30. It doesn’t seem like it should be allowed. It’s a very adult number. The pressure. I mean seriously –I double knot my shoes, wear what my wife tells me to, have to say out loud “B-E-A-utiful” in Jim Carrey’s voice in order to spell the word “beautiful”, and still live under the impression that I will one day be a famously heroic astro-archaeo-paleo-time traveling-space-mailman.

Can we take a recount? I think the math’s off. Someone’s padding the figures. I want to speak to the manager.

But the lift operator just smiles and says, “We’ve quite a ways to go before reaching the top floor.”